Naflafiwrimo Day 3: How to Sell Yourself

It’s only day three but it feels like I’ve been doing this for a week. Great fun so far, though. It’s not too late to start if you’re interested in giving this a go!

How to Sell Yourself

 

It is important to think of yourself as a brand, not just another potential employee, he reads. The techniques employers use to sell their products are the same techniques you can use to sell yourself to them.

‘What is my brand?’ James asks himself.

What features makes you stand out from the crowd? the book asks in response. James makes a list.

  1. Longer than average nose.
  2. Good sense of direction.
  3. Good sense of humour.
  4. Always a gentleman.

Now, how to work these into his personal brand? He scribbles some more notes down, then reads over what he has so far.

Gentleman, 40, wltm lady with good sense of humour for friendship, possibly romance. Sense of direction not necessary.

‘It will have to do,’ James says, and sends the ad to the local paper that afternoon.

James reads the book over and over again through the next week. He receives no response to his personal ad. The book has lots of good advice, though, and he comes up with a new strategy. It requires a bit of capital up front, but the book is very clear on the fact that it takes money to make money, so he goes ahead with the plan.

Within the month his billboards are up across the city.  His adverts appear in the local papers, but not in the personal ad pages this time. He’s still working on getting onto radio but things look promising. He’s been very careful to present himself as a brand; women aren’t going to be interested in dating him, they’re going to be interested in dating the lifestyle he represents.

He sits by his phone and waits for his first call.

After five minutes the phone rings, he picks up, starts to arrange a date with a lovely lady called Sarah but before they’ve even agreed on a restaurant there’s a call on the other line and he has to put Sarah on hold, to tell Paula that he’ll be with her in just a minute and then there’s another call and–

In short, it’s a long day for James.

In the next two weeks James meets forty-eight very nice ladies. He goes to the cinema and to expensive restaurants, has picnics in the park and a lot of conversations over cocktails. By the end of it he’s very stressed, very broke and very much glad that no-one wanted a second date.

Then his radio ad goes on air and once again the phone won’t stop ringing. James unplugs it from the wall, cancels the radio ad, vandalises his billboards and takes puts a final personal ad in the newspaper.

After one romantic encounter too many, wnltm anyone.

That evening he orders in pizza, watches Die Hard again and feels quite happy.

 

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About lemonmachine

I am Kieren McCallum, a third-year English Literature student at UEA, Norwich. View all posts by lemonmachine

3 responses to “Naflafiwrimo Day 3: How to Sell Yourself

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